top of page

How to Make Your Vows Come From the Heart

Writing your own vows can be difficult, but will be rewarding during your ceremony. We found some of the best tips and tricks to make your vow writing easier.

You have assembled the wedding invitation kits, put together the wedding shower favors and picked the perfect honeymoon spot. All that's left on the to-do list is the dreaded task of writing your own vows. It sounded like a such a beautiful idea in the beginning but now blank sheets of paper stare back at you, and you have the worst writer's block imaginable. Not to fear! We are here to help inspire you and make sure those vows reflect your true love.

Before you sit down to write your own vows, be sure to check with your officiant. Some churches will not allow you to substitute your vows for traditional ones. In many cases, the officiant will be able to set aside time in the ceremony for you and your spouse-to-be to recite your own vows in addition to the traditional ones. Many officiants will ask to review your vows in advance, so give yourself ample time to write and polish them before that date.

Begin by setting some "ground rules" with your fiancé. Will you be reading the vows to each other before the wedding ceremony or will they be a surprise? What tone will the wedding vows have... funny, serious, romantic, poetic, etc? Get a good idea of what your fiancé has in mind before you start writing and the process will be much easier.

Keep the vows short. Anything longer than a minute or so and your guests will start to squirm. Also, the shorter the vows, the easier they will be to remember. Your wedding day will be a rush of activity, and probably nerves, so make your vows simple, short and easy to remember, you'll appreciate it later.

Now, it is time to start brainstorming! Consider your relationship's history, when you met, when you first realized you were in love, when you first knew this was the person you want to marry and your favorite memory of your partner. From there, think about how your partner makes you feel, what you miss about this person when he or she is gone, how your life has changed since you met, how your fiancé inspires you and the greatest thing about your spouse-to-be. Finally, look into the future and think about your married life together, what you expect from marriage, where do you see you and your fiancé in five or ten years, what are you looking forward to in married life and how your view of your future has changed since you met your partner. After thinking about your relationship, listen to love songs, read romantic poems and read vows other couples have written for inspiration.

If you and your fiancé decided to surprise each other with your vows on your wedding day, read your vow rough drafts to family and friends. Ask your loved ones for honest feedback on what you've written. The most important thing to keep in mind when writing your own vows is that they are an expression of your love. No matter what you say to your spouse, he or she will always treasure those moments. The vows can be corny or serious, funny or romantic, in the end it's all about communicating your love for your spouse, and describing how special that person is to you.

All you need to do now is practice, practice, practice! Make sure that you are comfortable with the final version of your vows, so there's no chance of forgetting a word during the ceremony. If you can, say them to your fiancé. If not, practice in front of the mirror, while you shower, while you drive to work, while you're in line for your morning cup of coffee, when you exercise all the time!

As with everything else in your wedding, have a backup plan for your vows. Type two copies and attach them to note cards. Keep one with you while you walk down the aisle and give one to your maid of honor or best man to hold. If you have any last minute case of nerves, or drop your note card somewhere, you will have an extra copy close at hand.

Amanda Meyer Sales Associate at Bridal Elements, your source for all wedding accessories including wedding cake toppers, bridal jewelry, personalized wedding toasting flutes, and much more.

bottom of page